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Friday, February 10, 2012

Baby Roundhouse Kick: Sleeping with baby, AKA Chuck Norris Jr.

If you don't get this hilarious illustration from, you haven't been a parent very long. Maybe not at all. You probably don't even have parents.

You orphan you.

I laughed so hard when I saw this I almost turned into a puddle of tears. But that's just because it's true. So true, in fact, that I woke up last night to exactly this scenario. The Web site I pulled this from referred to it as akin to sleeping with Chuck Norris. Only tinier. Now I can't get the visual out of my head.

Of course, this is not the only crazy sleep position children achieve. I have awoken to my daughter draped entirely over my face, lying on her stomach. I have awoken to realize I was the fifth person in my bed, and each of the other four had more room than me. I have had feet in my back, in my mouth, between my legs, and more other places than Lever 2000 can keep track of.

But dang are they cute feet.

What's the zaniest position you've seen when sharing your bed with a child?


  1. I am only 12 years of ages but I have a 1 year old sister, whom I adore. There has been times when I, the eldest child in 4, have woken first in the household, to find Poppy bawling her eyes out, and her poor parents are oblivious due to the first sleep they've had all night being a very deep one. I tiptoe into the room to find my (rather obese) stepfather and mother clinging to the sides of the Queen Size bed. My adorable sister, would stop her crying, sit bolt upright and giggle whilst beaming her dazzleing smile at me. 'That much space for such a small thing' my brain remarks.
    Once, when I was trying to get Poppy to settle for bed after batheing her, as my mother was busy with housework and looking after the middle sister because she'd come down with something or over, as common with 6/7 year olds; I found out why Poppy needs so much room.She lays down on the pillow so her cute little face is mushed, her napkined bum pointing in the air. Then she'll roll over into a starfish and beam at you before crawling up the pillows, which a are like Mount Everest to her, after scaling the mountain, stands victoriously on the headstand. As u will well know because you're a father, when you warn her, she beams a 'but I'm so cute and innocent' smile...
    SO much room for a tiny thing *shakes head and sighs*

  2. My toddler fell asleep once halfway on the bed. I assume she woke up in the night and came to get us, but we were apparently out cold. She was standing up, feet on the ground, with the top half of her body laying on the bed, and she was dead asleep. I have no idea how she does it...